The Importance of Being Responsible for Your Own Self Confidence When You Feel like No One Sees How Hard You're Working

building self confidence author samantha eklund

Like anything else in life, the excitement of working on your dreams or business ebbs and flows.

Sometimes we won’t have the fanfare or encouragement of those around us to keep us going. In those times, we have to call upon our own self-confidence to make it through.

Really, if everyone knew how hard you were working on your dreams and goals, they would be praising you like crazy! But since that can’t be the case all of the time, and we don’t want to rely on others for validation, it is important that we’re continually building our own self-confidence.

Whenever you feel like your efforts aren’t paying off or that nobody in the world is noticing your hard work, keep going anyway!

In those times especially, remember that you and I are responsible for our own self-confidence! Here are three great reasons why:

Reason #1: We don’t want to rely on others for validation.

If you’re cruising along on your dreams or business and feel like nobody is noticing you or giving you credit, learn to be ok with that. These dreams came from your heart, right? Then you don’t need anyone telling you whether they’re valid, good or bad, or worth pursuing. If you’re running a business in order to accomplish your dreams, the same still applies. Yes you need your business to resonate with your target market, but it doesn’t have to appeal to everyone around you.

In times when it feels like your target market has shrunk and the only people giving you feedback on your business are the Negative Nancys, it’s more important than ever that you remember your self-confidence should flow from within, and that their validation (or lack of) shouldn’t matter to you.

Reason #2: People can be fickle, and feedback for us won’t always be positive.

While it can be the most joyful feeling in the world to receive praise and accolades for our accomplishments, allowing them to hold that much power in our lives also makes us weak to the trying times. Like everything else in humanity, peoples’ love for you and your products will shift and change.

What’s worse for low self-confidence than nobody paying attention to you? When people are paying attention but they don’t have anything nice to say. If you’re always relying on others to tell you how great you’re doing, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. Even when you’re doing amazing and your products are incredible, everyone has an opinion about everything. Your products, services, and personality aren’t for everyone—and that’s ok. If you have your own rock-solid self-confidence, you won’t care when you get negative feedback or the fickle crowd turns against you.

Reason #3: The stronger you are in your self-confidence and convictions, the less likely you are to be swayed off track.

Look, people mean well. Investors, advisors, friends, and family can all offer us incredible advice. They can also offer us not-so-good advice. If you allow yourself to be completely dependent on the validation and accolades of others, then you will likely change course every time someone whom you respect or love disagrees with you.

While we all need to be teachable and open to feedback, there are also times where we absolutely need to hold our ground and stick to what we know in our hearts to be right. A well-meaning family member or coach might tell you to make a change that totally compromises your entire mission. Don’t do it just for the sake of appeasing them!

In summary:

Let your self-confidence flow from within! That way when people aren’t as supportive of you as you may wish, their negativity won’t impact your efforts. You won’t have to rely on them for validation, which will come in handy when they don’t have anything nice to say. You especially don’t have to change course for the naysayers either, and having a healthy inner sense of confidence will certainly help you stay on track in the face of opposition.

Action item:

Ask yourself if there’s anywhere in your life where you’re relying on the validation of others? (most of us are in one area or another) If so, how can you break free of this destructive behavior?

Join the convo! ;-)

Are you excited about being in control of your own self-confidence, rather than being at the whims of others? Post a comment below if you are and have some ideas on how you’re going to implement this!

XO,

Samantha