Ignite Your Self Confidence: 7 Insidious Lies That Are Probably Holding You Back

self confidence author samantha eklund

It may be shocking to discover that each of us walks around every day lying to ourselves. What’s the topic of our lies? Us!

When we’re born, we have certain beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. As we grow, experience life, and learn from others, we inevitably change those beliefs and form new ones—be they good or bad. Through our experiences, we begin to form opinions about ourselves that aren’t always true. These can be good things or bad things.

Today, I’d like to help you recognize some of the bad ones, since they’re the ones that hold us back.

In most cases, we’re not even aware of the lies we believe about ourselves until someone else points them out!

My hope is that when you read through this list, some of them will resonate with you and you’ll identify them as lies that you currently believe. Once you know the lie, you can refute it! Then you can operate from a place of truth and move forward confidently in both your life and the pursuit of your dreams.

Here are the seven insidious lies that are probably holding you back from success:

Lie #1: I’m not good enough.

“I’m not smart enough, not attractive enough, not young enough, not charismatic enough, not thin or fit enough, not outgoing enough, not strategic enough, not likable enough, not enough of a leader, not witty enough, blah blah blah.”

So false! For every one of your perceived flaws, I can point someone else who has found incredible success even though they have that same exact character defect. Your insecurities and flaws are very, very small parts of who you are, and they definitely don’t stack the odds against you.

Lie #2: I’m not worthy or I don’t deserve success.

“Sure I’m worthy of my average job and decent pay, but worthy of my dreams coming true? Forget about it. In fact, I don’t even believe I have dreams.”

My dear, this is so not true. Does anyone really deserve success? I believe that those who work hard for it do! And I know you’re a hard-working person with good intentions who wants the best for your family and loved ones. So of course you are worthy of success!

Lie #3: I’ll never be like those cool cats.

“They’re larger than life, fearless, brilliant, cunning… all the things I’m not.”

Nooo! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a famous entertainer, athlete, or statesman say how nervous they STILL get before each concert, major meeting, performance, or speech. Trust me, the greats have doubts about themselves just like you do. They just choose to push through them, and I know you can too!

Lie #4: I don’t have the resources.

Hogwash! If you think that’s true, start saving your money. Get a second job. Join an MLM that has integrity and whose products you’re passionate about. Start a small landscaping company for the weekends. Deliver Amazon packages. This is America AND we’re in the modern world! There are NO shortages of opportunities to make more money if you’re willing to work for it. Need an ungodly amount of money to get started? Then get creative. Turn to crowdsourcing or put together a killer proposal and pitch it to startup investors.

Lie #5: People will think I’m crazy.

Who gives a rat’s booty? So you’re a stay-at-home mom and you want to be a life coach? GO FOR IT GIRL!!! All you have to do is study other life coaches, take some training, and get your first couple customers (maybe your best friends?). You don’t charge them for your services, they give you honest feedback, you adjust accordingly, they write testimonials, and BOOM, you’re in business.

Lie #6: It’s too competitive out there.

No my dear, it’s not. That is just another lie in disguise. Remember a couple minutes ago when you didn’t think you were good enough to pursue your dream? Well you ARE, and this lie is the same as that one. You believe in yourself now and your self-confidence is sky high—so nothing is too competitive for you.

Just because you’re in the same industry as millions of others doesn’t mean they’re your direct competitors. You are unique and have a unique personality to offer that nobody else does. That’s what will draw people to you. Yes you must obtain experience and expertise, but your personality is what will truly earn you customers. And the best part is, you get to be yourself! Doing that guarantees that you’ll attract the right customers.

Lie #7: If I face rejection or my dream fails, my life will be over.

Perhaps the biggest lie of all, this one gets all of us at one time or another. It’s SO not true though! As I shared in my 30 Things I Learned by 30 blog, it’s ok to fail! Again, and again, and again, until you hit success!

Rejection? Psh, so what? That just means whoever rejected you didn’t understand what you were offering because they weren’t your ideal customer. Just get back on that horse and keep looking for them!

In summary:

We all tell ourselves any number of lies every day, and I’ve listed the top seven that I think assail us in some way every single day. At one time or another, I’ve dealt with all of them, and some days they still creep in (especially #1!). Whenever that happens to you or me, I want us both to remember that these are LIES, and the ONLY thing that can stop us from fulfilling our dreams is ourselves! None of the above points can really stop us unless we allow them to.

Action item:

Read through the lies again and see which ones you believe. These lies are holding you back and doing nothing to serve you in life, so it’s time to ditch them! On a note card or the Notes app in your phone, list out the lies that plague you the most and then ALL of the reasons why they’re not true. Any time you’re feeling down about yourself or are feeling disheartened about making your dreams come true, look at this list and remember the truth!

Join the convo! ;-)

Did you identify some lies that you’ve been telling yourself and that you’re excited about eradicating? Share with us so we can all encourage one another! Post your comment below: